You’re probably sighing deeply from the title because you’re either a sceptic when it comes to love and/ or the Law of Attraction and you’ve already emotionally prepared yourself for another lonely Valentine’s Day, or you’re simply curious and want to give this a shot, or find out if this is click bait because maybe it turns out, when you get to the end of this post, that I’ll be sitting on my couch this year, once again, snuggled up with my mom while we watch some of her favourite TV shows like it’s another ordinary night, only this time, I bought loads of chocolate.
For anyone who’s new to my blog, I wrote a lot about manifesting my soul mate last year. It was a long road, to be honest, and while I was persistent and determined, I wrote, in a blog post, about my realisation towards the end of 2018 that relationships—even those driven by the universal energy forces— are a two way street. “A girl’s got to eat!”, Friends’ Phoebe once wisely said regarding moving on from attracting your soul mate. I realised, basically, that two souls can’t be forced to be together if one of them isn’t ready to commit—in other words, my soul mate might still be healing from his past relationship and although I meditated, visualised, scripted and affirmed that we are together and in a loving and healthy relationship, until he’s ready to let go of the pain he feels at the memories of his past love and until he opens himself up to loving and receiving love again, I can’t force us to be together. The Universe may bring him to me again like it did twice before because of my vibrations that I was (and still am constantly) emitting about him, but constantly wondering when he’s coming, when he’s healing and if he thinks about me at all has done nothing but cause resistance and I got tired of playing that game with the Universe. I got divinely inspired to move on from him and put myself out there and I did.
The first thing I did was allow myself to trust the Universe. I had faith that I’d done my part, regarding my soul mate, and I came to feel like, because I wanted to give my love to someone so much, the Universe wanted me to receive love at the same intensity as I was ready to give it (because the Law of Attraction is about getting back the energy that you give out). I trusted that if I was meant to be with someone else while I patiently waited on my soul mate, the Universe would provide me with exactly what I needed.
I then spoke into existence (and everytime I got the chance to say this) that I would be spending this coming Valentine’s Day with someone special. Notice my wording. I did not say “I am not spending this Valentine’s Day alone again”, I said “I am spending this Valentine’s Day with someone special”.
The Universe does not understand the words ‘not’ and ‘don’t’. Everything is answered, by the Universe, with ‘yes’.
If you were to say “I don’t want to date players”, the Universe answers ‘yes’ and you attract player after player. If you were to say “I only attract loving, caring, respectful men”, the Universe answers ‘yes’ and you start to attract men who are exactly like that. Speaking things into existence with this understanding of how the Law of Attraction works is how you affirm your desires— thoughts become things and you essentially breathe life into your thoughts by speaking them out into the world. Every time my best friend and I would speak about the new year, one of the things we’d say to each other was that this year, Valentine’s day would be different— it would be full of love and smiles for us; it would be romantic.
I then got inspired by the Universe and encouraged by my best friend to download Tinder. I know, there are tons of horrible stories around the app but hear me out: I don’t have much of a life outside of my studies. I almost never go out and the chances of me dressing up to hit a bar by myself with hopes that I’ll reel in the right man… do you know how much makeup costs to be messing with it for a guy who probably just wants to take you home for the night when you’re seriously trying to give your love to someone? So Tinder was my only option— speed dating… but in my pyjamas. Perfect! I used my positive energy to intend that my matches would be sincere and honest men so that my time on the app would be used rightly (notice again my wording. I didn’t say “… so I don’t waste my time on the app”). I also used some positive energy to put my profile together (played some love songs and got myself in a good mood); I gathered some pretty pictures of myself and only used positive language in my Tinder bio (and some humour) to attract the right men. Instead of listing the things I didn’t want in a match, I listed what I was willing to offer to a man I did match with so that he could decide if what I had to give was what he wanted. I didn’t list what I wanted in a match because every man on Tinder believes he’s charming, tall and hand-sculpted by Jesus, Son of Mary, on the 7th day. I had 3 men who clearly didn’t bother with my bio—the true Tinder mascots from the House of Hook-ups (bless them for their honesty because I did intend honest responses), and some men matched with me but even after I said hi, they either never replied or they did but the conversation was empty.
You have to remember to keep your spirits high when manifesting anything. I’ve learned that when it seems like nothing is happening, something major is happening. I also remembered to treat the Law of Attraction like a game. If you take manifesting your desires too seriously, you emit the frequency of lack or need and cause resistance; you have to be okay with any outcome the Universe has for you and you have to be ready to accept whichever outcome with a positive mind-set: “if I actually meet a good guy on this app, great! I’ll have gotten what I asked for. If I don’t, also great! It means I have to shift my focus and maybe Tinder isn’t it”. With this step, I occasionally took a few minutes a day to meditate and visualise myself having what I wanted— feeling the love I desired; love, happiness, the butterflies in my stomach, feeling appreciated and respected… just to remind myself that that was the end goal— what my heart was set on and what I was going to accept and nothing less.
A few days of swiping, waiting for responses, coming across very obvious catfishes (some guy went and used The Wanted’s Siva as his catfish and had the nerve to rename good ol’ Siva “Mohamed”) and celebrating my best friend finally finding love, I got a message on my Instagram (which is linked with my Tinder) from someone who’d swiped right on my profile but hadn’t heard from me so he’d taken initiative to reach out. Some of you are probably reading this like, “red flag!”, but I appreciate a bit of effort and I understood that some people were also on Tinder for some serious business. Besides, his sweet greeting in my DMs was in no way alarming to me so I let him have his say.
At this point, I’d totally forgotten that I’d added a wish to my magic jar that had to do with Tinder and finding someone sincere on the app. Only days after talking to this man via text, phone call and video calls did I realise that there had to be something about this in my magic jar. Low and behold, an intention I set had manifested!
Manifesting love for yourself (even if it’s not for Valentine’s Day) is as simple as:
- Asking yourself if you want to give/ receive love and realising that answering ‘yes’ is confirming that you have a desire to experience love, to start with.
- Affirming by speaking it into existence with zero doubt that you are worthy, ready and open for love (this Valentine’s Day, if you want to be that specific).
- Listening to your intuition (especially when meditating) as this will be your ultimate compass of where or how you have to begin. For me, Tinder felt more right/ perfect than the idea of me actually going out to meet men (which I’d tried before… I stayed single after that experience lol). Listen to your heart for what feels right and act accordingly.
- Being specific about what you want, even when it comes to physicality, if you wish. I knew the type of man I was looking for and I had his image in my mind and I wasn’t willing to settle for anything less. By ‘specific’ I’m not saying that you should imagine [insert your favourite celebrity’s name here] being your perfect match because what are the odds? If you know your dream partner’s race, hair colour, eye colour, height, fashion sense… by all means, add that to your order to the Universe, but be open to receiving something different and better in the same breath. Being general will always work in your advantage (for example, if you feel you’re attracted to corporate men, by all means, put yourself where corporate men are and be patient). Just don’t fully limit your blessings by specifying that your dream man has smooth caramel skin, can rap like a boss but also makes suits look heavenly, has his own business on the side, is dedicated 110% to his Jewish religion, loves his strippers but is a softie (because balance is important), had an acting career as a teenager and— “oh snap, Universe! Can I have Drake please? Yes, the one and only… this Valentine’s Day, yes… I know I live all the way in South Africa but—“ see what I mean? (just so you know, I’ve been having hectic Drake feelings and actually matched with a Drake look-alike from my own country on Tinder, just to put it out there that the Universe can be slick lol).
- Staying positive and treating it all like it’s a game.
- Meditating, visualising, scripting… whatever you feel you have to do to keep the feeling of having your desire alive, do it.
- Expecting nothing less than what you want. Expecting something means there is no room for doubt. You expect tomorrow to come because you know it’s coming— right after Sunday comes Monday. There will never be a day when Friday comes after Tuesday. Expect and trust.
- Being open to being put on a different path or simply open to receive what you want.
- And letting go of the feelings of anxiety, worry or doubt around your desire because manifesting is a game that you should expect to win. With Tinder, I’d swipe right even if I felt that the man was way too good looking for me. Why? Because I’d tell myself 2 things: 1) if we match, that means he finds me hot too, and 2) I am worthy of any man I desire, even if I look like Miss Piggy and he like Christian Grey.
Overall, if you are confident with the story you tell— “this Valentine’s Day is going to be a special, romantic one for me”— you are on the right track. Everything else will be up to the Universe to provide; your job is to place your order and not to worry about how or when it’s finding you.
I wish you all a love-filled month (and Valentine’s Day) and I am open to meditating on your behalf if you wish. Just drop me a DM on my Twitter and I’ll help you out. Otherwise, if you really have faith in my method, comment below, “I am worthy of a romantic Valentine’s Day this year and I expect nothing less” and I’ll affirm it with you.
Featured image courtesy of unsplash.com